oxymoron67 (oxymoron67) wrote,
oxymoron67
oxymoron67

An odd trolley problem: for LJ Idol

This week's topic is "Trolley Problem."

Being a gay man of a certain age, I immediately thought of Judy Garland singing The Trolley Song when I read that.

And the song got stuck in my head all day on Friday, which was a problem because I was trying to accomplish things at work.

For example:

Me (to myself): Okay, I need to proofread this...
Subconscious: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! WENT THE TROLLEY!
Me (to myself): Come on! It's a grant propos--
Sub: DING! DING! DING! WENT THE BELL!
Me: But this has to get d...
Sub: ZING! ZING! ZING! WENT MY HEARTSTRINGS!
Me: I hate you so much right now.

The song just kept running through my head on an endless loop. It was so frustrating. It got worse when I received a phone call from purchasing.

Me: Hello!
Purchasing Person: We have questions about the t-shirts.
Me: I thought we worked out the budget issues.
PP: We did, but...
Sub: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! WENT THE TROLLEY!
Me: Could you repeat that?
PP: Did you get...
Sub: DING! DING! DING! WENT THE BELL!
PP: And we...
Sub: ZING! ZING! ZING! WENT MY HEARTSTRINGS!
Me (trying to fake it): I though I gave you all the documentation...
PP (a little annoyed, and at the same time as below): blahblahblah artwork blahblahblah
Sub: FROM THE MOMENT I SAW HIM I FELL!
Me: Wait. you need the artwork? Why?
PP: (sounds like Miss Othmar from the Charlie Brown cartoons)
Sub: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! WENT THE TROLLEY!
Me (still trying to fake it): I don't have the artwork, but I'll get it and send it to you.
PP: (I'm sure he said something here.)
Sub: DING! DING! DING! WENT THE BELL!
Me: Do me a favor. Could you e-mail me your concerns, so I can pass them on to my boss?
PP: Sure.

At this point, I put my headphones on and hit shuffle, in an attempt to drive The Trolley Song out of my head with other music.

Sadly, this did not work. It just created some awfully strange mashups.

For instance, Head like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails and The Trolley Song, which went like this:

CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! WENT HEAD LIKE A HOLE!
BLACK AS YOU WENT THE BELL!

That was just confusing.

This was no better:

When you're WENT THE TROLLEY!
CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! Feeling small..

(Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge over Troubled Water)

Judy Garland completely overpowered Simon and/or Garfunkel and it made even less sense than the first mash-up.

Then, Queen's song, Killer Queen came on:

SHE KEEPS HER MOET AND CHANDON IN THE TROLLEY!
Zing! ZING! ZING! JUST LIKE MARIE ANTOINETTE!

Oddly, this mashup worked, though it still did not drive the song out of my brain.

So, I just gave up, and spent the rest of the day with that damned Trolley Song going through my head.
Tags: lj idol, music
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