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dino head

For LJ Idol -- Heel Turn

As those who read my blog regularly know, I am gay. My family knows, but we don't discuss it, because it would bring shame on them or something...

Well, back when Obergefell v. Hodges went before the Supreme Court, the more liberal members of my family would discuss it with me, but the more conservative members would not.

Except one.

My brother who still firmly believes that all LGBT people are mentally ill.

After he had posted some ugly stuff on Facebook, which I called hom out for and then blocked him over, my brother called me.

Brother: It's obvious that (tone of voice as if say something disgusting) gays and lesbians shouldn't get married.
Me: What? How so?
Bro: Well, the church...
Me: The church has nothing to do with this. Lots of people get married without any religious service.
Bro: Yes... but... marriage is a religious matter. Period.
Me: Then why can judges marry people?
Bro: Look... marriage is only about reproduction.
Me: So, by your argument, married couples should be FORCED to reproduce. How many years should they have?
Bro: No...
Me: So that after, say, five years, they should be forced to divorce? And what of infertile people... or post-menopausal women?
Bro: But they're straight couples, so the potenital is always there...
Me: And plenty of gay couple have kids...
Bro: They shouldn't.
Me: Why not? Gay folks will do a better job than many of straight people I know.
Bro: Look, marriage is for reproduction. Anyone who thinks otherwise is stupid.
Me: (dangerously) So... I'm stupid.
Bro: Yes.
Me: What does that make you?
Bro: Excuse me?
Me: I am fluent in three languages and can read another six. I am capable of intelligently discussing anything from politics to many of the sciences. YOU peaked in high school and can't successfully hold down a job.
Bro: Listen to me...
Me: No, you listen, I am done.

And then I hung up. We did not talk for about two years or so.I just turned and walked away(metaphorically speaking). I was fine with this, though my mom and my sisters were not.

That my sisters tried to interfered bothered me. They had stopped speaking to our brother regularly years ago, because they would get into fights with him. But I was supposed to maintain contact.

We did eventually start talking to one another when I was briefly hospitalized. He called me... but he never apologized, and I'm not about to, either. We now talk very occasionally.

Am I thrilled about it? No. But I'm sure we'll piss one another off soon, and then turn and walk away again.


Such a shame.
It is very unfortunate that your brother has caused such a rift. Pissing each other off again is almost a certainty, because that's what family members do.

I've lost contact with family for this very reason, it's sad how often I've heard the reproduction argument, it's such flawed logic   

I'm still peeved at your sisters over that, and also at your brother. Having a gay family member is often how people learn that the traditional thinking on gay people is wrong. For your brother, his refusal to listen is not only insulting, it denies your experience as a person who has lived this.

I wonder if he secretly has relented a little, but is too embarrassed to say so. OTOH, if he hasn't, nobody wants to hear him confirm that!
Sorry he is like that, living well is the best revenge.
The reproduction argument. Ugh. Just...it's so ridiculous. My father uses it, too. He's in his second marriage and they're definitely not have kids (as they're in their 60s). I asked him if his marriage was unacceptable since it wasn't going to result in babies, and he said his first marriage did result in 3 kids, so he was done.

It's so hard when you have to cut family members out, but sometimes, it's the best thing for you to do.
Family is so damn hard. :(
Family. It's where we come from. It's where we go for comfort. It's flooded with the most frustrating relationships on the planet. (Just my opinion.)


I'm sorry you had to go through this.
People are so indoctrinated to a particular way of thinking. This is why racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia even fathphobia are constant issues in our society.

The biblical people are the dopiest though. After all the Ten Commandments are supposed to be the most important laws of God... and being "straight" isn't among those - which makes me think that people during biblical times understood that some people were gay and that was a part of life - but the whole adultery with neighbors IS on that list but there's no marching in the streets or protests about that.