Back in the day, I had this friend Anna.
Anna was a raging anti-Semite and racist, but really loved gay guys.
I'm not sure how this happened... maybe she just listed groups of people to hate and threw darts?
She even had the "special voice" she would use when she would discuss Jewish women: it was high pitched and nasally, and wildly offensive.
Yes, we tried to tell her not to do that, but she thought she was being hysterical.
You're probably asking "Why didn't he just cut Anna out of his life?" I don't know. We were all aware that she was like this, but, outside of telling her when she was out of line, we didn't do much.
Well, a few of us were planning to go see Schindler's List, and she decided to join us.
No one knew why. I mean, a few of us thought, "Is she going to root for the Germans?", but we didn't say anything.
As we were going to the theater, she said that she couldn't wait to see Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes.
Okay, so that question was answered.
If you haven't seen Schindler's List on the big screen, you should, at least once. It was an amazing, moving film. After the movie, the audience filed out silently, which I had never seen before.
We headed over to Denny's for a late dinner, but none if use really said much at the table.
After a few minutes of silence, this happened:
Anna: Well, I know how I would have survived...
Everyone else: ...
Anna: I would have just left.
Me: WHAT? Left what?
Anna: The camp.
Me: You realize those camps were heavily guarded, right?
Anna: I'm sure I could have snuck out at night.
Me: I... I... okay. Say you actually managed to escape without getting shot. Then what?
Anna: I would walk to where the Allies were.
Me: ... In a war zone. With no supplies. And no reliable transportation.
Anna: The Von Trapps did it.
Me (visibly boggled): Okay... you realize that they were not actually in a camp, right?
Me: And that they were close to Switzerland. This camp was in Poland. That's not that close.
Anna: It's Europe. Europe's tiny. How far could it be?
Me: (getting irritated) How would you know what direction to go in? How would you survive?
Anna: Europe has rivers, so I'd have water, and I'd just stop in towns for food.
Me: (angry) You mean like restaurants? You do not understand life in a war zone.
Anna: I know I can do it...
At this point one of our dinner companions chimed in to change the subject, and Anna started discussing how hot Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes were.
Anna and I no longer talk. We lost track of one another over twenty years ago, and I'm not particularly upset about that.