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For LJ Idol -- Finding closure at a pub

Longer ago than I care to admit, one (let's call her "Joanie") of my friends was sleeping with her best friend's fiancé (let's use "Carla" and "Matt").

This came to light after the wedding, and a tremendous amount of drama ensued.

Before this all happened, a bunch of us (between fifteen and twenty, depending on the week) would go to a local Irish pub on Thursdays, because they had Irish musicians in every week.

After the cheating news broke (which is another painfully stupid story), the married couple stopped going for a few months. I'm not sure if they went another night, or what.

Anyway, one night, they decided that they were going to the pub, because the wife "needed closure".*

I immediately knew that this was a Very Bad Idea. Wildly dysfunctional people, Irish music, alcohol, and feelings of betrayal are not the flavors that one typically uses to make a Serenity Stew.

While most folks went to the pub, to enjoy the music/witness the carnage, I decided to stay home. I knew that I would have to deal with the trauma afterward, so I just made a lunch date with Joanie for the next day.

Well, the scene at the pub was a shitshow. It started with cold stares, and angrily-mumbled comments, but, by the end of the first set of Irish music AND lots of alcohol, the wife and Joanie started screaming at one another, and Carla slapped Joanie.

So, Joanie and I had a lot to talk about the next day.

Joanie: ... and then she slapped me.
Me: *sigh* I tried to tell them that this was a bad idea...
Joanie: And I saw how Matt was flirting with Rowan**. If he's sleeping with her...
Me: I don't think he is...
Joanie: Well, if he is, after all the Hell I've been through over him... I'd just probably go crazy and kill them both. Then, I'd go to jail and no one would ever see me again.
Me: (thinking to myself): I know I should say something supportive here, but I don't know what...
Me: (out loud): I wouldn't worry about it. If anyone can cop a plea of diminished capacity right now, it's you.***
Joanie: (stricken look)...
Me: (Realizing what I said): I mean that in the best possible way.

Lunch was very uncomfortable after that.

Joanie is now married with a child of her own. Matt and Carla are still together with two children. I know this from mutual friends, because I no longer speak to any of them.
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*Honestly, in cases like this, people don't normally want closure. They want the last word, which is a very different thing.
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**They weren't flirting. At the time, they (and their partners) were just spending a lot of time together.
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*** Honestly, I was trying to be helpful. There are reasons why friends have told me that "No one turns to (me) for comfort."
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Comments

That is a shit show! LOL
I'm more irked than anything at Joanie's self-entitled attitude toward the whole thing. She betrayed her best friend, and helped the husband betray her too. She deserved whatever came to her, and the slap was probably letting her off easy.

"Witness the carnage" sounds about right. I will tend to sit things like that out, if I have an inkling beforehand of what's coming. :O

There are reasons why friends have told me that "No one turns to (me) for comfort."
Hahahaha! Well, to be fair, I wouldn't have tried to comfort her given her part in all that, so there's that. Maybe it was an impossible task. ;)
The interesting thing here is that many of my friends sided with Joanie in all of this.

You know, that she was the truly injured party.

This mess is the reason that I stopped talking to many people.
More great drama from your life, which always makes me laugh. I'm laughing with you, not at you, of course. You have a real way with these things. I loved your last footnote.
I learned to laugh at my life a long time ago. It keeps me sane-ish.
Oh my gosh, what drama! Friendship circles are the most interesting way to analyse relationships sometimes.
Great story, but the footnotes are the best part of this one. Also the most valid/true. As someone else pointed out, Joanie was looking for comfort for having been the party who did the damage. Well, that's not quite true, it was really Matt. He was the one cheating on his partner; Joanie wasn't exactly an innocent bystander, but one could argue she is not meant to be the guardian of someone else's morality. (Although since Carla was a friend, that is worse than if she'd been a stranger.)
This is horrible situation to be in. You were very wise to avoid going to the pub. I am guessing your life is probably better with the three of them not it. What you said to your friend "I wouldn't worry about it. If anyone can cop a plea of diminished capacity right now, it's you." should have been laughed at. the fact that it wasn't tells me that Joanie had a lot of unresolved issues.
Yeah, not much good was going to come out of that, and sometimes it's best to just not talk. Which sucks because people do expect supportive and/or sympathetic words, but I think you said an excellent thing at the end :D Which is also why I've discovered sometimes it's best to just not talk ;)
Me: (out loud): I wouldn't worry about it. If anyone can cop a plea of diminished capacity right now, it's you.***

This is absolutely delicious! Sorry it didn't go over well. I just love this line - and your footnotes!

Edited at 2017-01-10 06:31 pm (UTC)
Oh my! Witness the carnage for sure. Love the footnotes.