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A discussion about family, for LJ Idol

I share a last name with a famous person from my hometown, and this led to the following discussion with my boss and a colleague.

Boss: Well, we know you have money. After all., your last name...
Me: No, I'm not related to him.
Boss: (teasing) You can tell us...
Me: If I was related to him, I wouldn't be working HERE.
Boss: Yeah, that makes sense.
Co-worker: Sure you would...
Me: No... that family has enough pull to get me a teaching position there. Sadly, my father's people are drunken white trash from New Jersey.
Co: You shouldn't call anyone trash.
Me: You're not related to them.
Co: Besides, they can't all be drunks...
Me: Man, you've lived a sheltered life.
Boss: SEAN!
Me: Though, in this case, you're right. They weren't all drunks. My Uncle John was a heroin addict. Because someone has to keep things fresh.
Co: That's probably the coldest thing I've ever heard someone say...
Me: These are people who, after my father's death, walked out* my mother and the four of us. I don't really even consider them family. They're more "people I have the misfortune of sharing genetic traits with."
Co: That's...
Me: They abandoned us when my mom was thirty, and we were eight, seven, six, and three. I will call those assholes whatever I Goddamned well please.

After an awkward silence, we started discussing plans for an upcoming conference.
___________
*This is a massive understatement. Kitty, my father's mother, basically stalked us for about a year. Among other things.

___
This is for the topic Sang Froid, for LJ Idol. I decided to interpret it literally.

Comments

I love these! I loved the line about your Uncle John -- once again, audible laughter. While it may be an expensive price to pay, your family has given you some great stories.
I turn things into stories. It's how I cope.
Kudos on being able to rise above this family.
Co: Besides, they can't all be drunks...
Me: Man, you've lived a sheltered life.
Boss: SEAN!


Hahahaha!

Your final statement about that side of the family, though... I agree. After abandoning your mother and four kids to fend for yourselves, I wouldn't keep in touch with any of them either. Good riddance.